I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
