youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
