So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
