Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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