That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
