i will never coherently bang her
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize