Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
