that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
