from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
