Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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