Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
