craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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