so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
