You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
