Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize