How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
