After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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