Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
