with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
