Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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