Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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