just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
