Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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