You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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