I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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