i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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