Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
