I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
