I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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