I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
