Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
