I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize