ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Alive.
So much puke
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize