i think my tv is drunk
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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