I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
