I am puke
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
