i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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