I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
