I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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