I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
