I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
