help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize