I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize