That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
