I'm laying in your front yard are you home
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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