Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
cat food counts as protein by the way
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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