The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
how does that bad decision feel?
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