dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
