Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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