She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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