P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
