when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
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