Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
its not stalking. its research.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
