I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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