That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize