Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
