Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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