That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
