So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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