Define "chronic" masturbator.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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