Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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