love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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